Tonight, the Hubs and I might get our faces melted off....

....and we'll love every minute of it!

Yes, that is tonight. And we will be there. 

Super awesome openers? Of course!

Cause these guys are creepy as fuck. And have
one of my favorite songs.

You know I'm tweaked when
I find this picture hot. 

But that's why you love me, right?


Oakland here we come,

A Special Tribute to Icy and Fifty

For those (rare few) who don't know, I'm a collared, contracted slave. My husband is my Sir (Master) and we live a 24/7 total power exchange relationship. I'm guessing that before something called "Master of the Universe" came out, most of you had no idea what that meant.

Most people call what I wear around my neck a "choker" or a "neclace" but in all actuality, it has much more meaning. 

Snowqueens Icedragon, or Icy as most of us call her, wrote a story called "Master of the Universe". Without getting into any spoilers, it's a Twilight fanfiction story that has captivated thousands. It portrays Edward and Bella in ways that only my dirty dreams and sentimental heart could have combined. It's both a love story and and erotic adventure that I would recommend to anybody, whether a "lifestyler" or not.


For many of us in the BDSM lifestyle, or any other alternative lifestyle, it is hard to be frank and honest about the way that we live our lives. This part of myself is not something that everyone in my life knows about. Partly because of you, Icy, I have been able to open up and share this part of me to some of my closest friends. I receive not judgement, but curiosity and acceptance in return. I no longer hide this part of my life, a HUGE part of my life, and feel as if because of it I have made some of the most real and sincere of friends. 


I want to give a sincere and heartfelt thank you to Icy, for giving us Fifty Shades, for giving us endless hours of enjoyment, for giving me a chance to open up, for helping create a community that so many of us can enjoy and for giving some sense of normalcy to a D/s relationship in the public's eye. 

The story has gained such notoriety, that it will actually be printed! Names changed for legal reasons, of course. But the raw emotion and trials and tribulations of true love will still be there. Don't hesitate, BUY! I know that I will have a hard copy in my hands faster than you can say RED!

http://www.thewriterscoffeeshop.com/publishinghouse/books/detail/23
Click!

To read this deliciousness ASAP, she has the entire story posted on her site here . Icy can also be reached via twitter @SQIceDragon. Feel free to share your love after reading/enjoying/panting/drooling/freaking out..etc.... you get the point.

I'd like to give a shout out to @TwiKiwi50 and @17foreverlisa for organizing this whole shabang. PLEASE check out these other sites for their take on the series and their reasons for loving "Master of the Universe":

Inspired by Lemons – www.inspiredbylemons.blogspot.com

Tongue-Twied– www.tonguetwied.blogspot.com

TJA – www.twilightjunkiesanonymous.blogspot.com

Cheaper than Therapy – www.musingbella.blogspot.com

Dangrdafne's Days of Delerium – www.dangrdafne.blogspot.com

17 Forever – www.17foreverlisa.blogspot.com

The Innapropriate Crush – www.theinappropriatecrush.blogspot.com

Robzsinger – www.robzsinger.blogspot.com

Borderline Phenomenal – www.borderlinephenomenal.blogspot.com

Twi-Lin's Twi Thoughts – www.monkeygirl1969.blogspot.com

Twitarded – www.twitarded.blogspot.com

The Cold Shower - www.thecoldshower.wordpress.com

TwiKiwi – www.twikiwi.blogspot.com 

Twired -www.sotwired.blogspot.com

Rosearcadia - www.rosearcadia.blogspot.com

Pattinson Post - www.pattinsonpost.com

Biel - www.petitbiel.tumblr.com/

Melbie Toast - www.melbietoast.tumblr.com

For those of you who have read this post and have any questions I haven't answered yet, please feel free to either leave a question in the comments or email me at alltwiedup@gmail.com. I'm brutally honest and will do my best to answer any questions you have about the series, the BDSM lifestyle, or even myself. I'm on twitter @AllTwiedUp, check out my Tumblr for some awesome pictures, most of which are BDSM oriented....for those of you that are curious or don't already know. ;)


Last, but not least, I want to thank @JennyJerkface and @SnarkierThanYou for giving me the opportunity to call the afore mentioned ladies/bloggers my friends. 


I love you h00rs more than you know,

I'm a little behind the curve. But what's new.

I know it's been ages since my last post, and I probably wont even get this up today, but guess what? I was nominated for....

Yaye!! :)

To accept this award one must follow the rules......

1. Thank the person that gave it to you and link it back to their blog.

2. Post 7 random facts about yourself.

3. Pass the award on to 15 other blogs. 

Okay, first things first, I'm not going to follow the rules because I'm so freakin behind the curve of this whole shabang. Nearly all my bloggy besties nominated me which is most flattering. :) For links to their blogs, check out the blogroll on my page. I FLOVE you all! Secondly, I'm giving this award to anybody who hasn't received it yet! Make sure you let me know you've responded so I can head over and read it!

7. One of my favorite smells in the entire world, other than the smell of a man (and a woman) of course, is the smell of cats. I love to stick my face into their fur and just inhale. It's seriously my zen time, smelling my cats. Yes, I am aware that's probably very weird. And I sometimes get fur in my mouth or stuck to my lip gloss, but whatevuh. ;)

6. I find left-handedness to be incredibly hot. I have no idea way. I have this strange fascination with it. I read in my psychology class that left handed people are more likely to commit suicide than right handed people. Why, I have no idea, it's just a statistic. Regardless, if I see you eating or writing with your left hand, I might be staring. Don't be alarmed. It's just a thing. :)

5. I've been a lacto-vegetarian bordering on veganism for 17 years. There are a ton of different types of vegetarians out there, but I eat no flesh of any sort (cow, pig, fish, etc.) and no products containing eggs or gelatin. It's completely psychological and is a result of many "traumatic" childhood experiences with animals and meat. The whole "lacto" in the lacto-vegetarian means I allow dairy in my diet. I hate 99% of dairy and the thought of it makes me sick, but sometimes I just have to get the protein from it. I don't buy  milk or butter, but use soy milk and rarely put cheese on anything. I still eat pizza and and other cheesey things, but I've wanted to go vegan for years. It's just soo damn expensive/hard to do when you are on the go all the time. So basically I'm an avid label-reader and a royal pain in the ass at restaurants. "Is that cooked in the same vat of oil as the fish/chicken?" "Is that cooked on the same surface as meat products?" "Do those beans have lard in them?" ....you can see where I'm going with this. Thank gawd my hubs is a patient man. .....most of the time.

Oh yeah, the hubs is NOT a vegetarian. He's a total carnivore. lol

4. I love gross shit. Non-animal related, of course. I love swapping stories about the nasty things I have to do at work with other nurses and people who don't have weak stomachs. I have soooo many poo stories and nobody to share them with. None of my friends/family want to hear them, but I feel the need to vent about these events! Some of them are just so mind blowing! Like at work, the other day, a resident who is wheelchair bound locked himself into the mens bathroom and I literally had to crawl under the stall like a little kid to help him. He'd managed to get on the toilet, but was unable to wipe himself. By gawd he sure tried. I wont explain the mess, but it took me 10 minutes to clean under his fingernails. Use your imagination. SEE? You didn't want to hear that did you? lol

3. I cant lie to save my mother's life. I also have a small, okay, who am I kidding, LARGE case of diarrhea mouth. Some how the filter from brain to mouth doesn't function properly. This applies to all areas of life. I say too much at work (ie. when a resident asks me why they are on a particular medication, I tell them the truth, and they dispute the hell out of their memory loss/cognitive impairment/medication. I've since learned.), I give overly graphic descriptions about bodily functions, I speak of sex in very frank/blunt terms, swear words fly out in front of the wrong people... you get the picture.

Oh yeah, and I FLOVE Obama!

2. It is because of number three that I do not have many local RL close friends. I hate having to censor myself. I don't want to have to tip-toe around anybody or have to hold my tongue. My bestie of besties lives on the opposite side of the United States and I miss her and her family every day. I can't look at a picture of her kids without crying I miss her/them so much. Her husband is coming back from a deployment here soon and they will be visiting Cali this summer. I seriously feel like a kid waiting for Christmas. It is also because of number three that I love the online community and the anonymity that the internet offers. I've met some of my most sincere RL besties here online! I love you h00rs more than you know. I even met my husband online. Myspace. Yeah, remember back in the day when Myspace was the shit? hahaha, that sort of dates my relationship a bit. Pssht, Myspace, who uses THAT anymore?

1. This is not news to many of you, but yes, I am one kinky little girl. The B the D the S and the M are my life.  ;) I love chatting about it and posting pics about it on Tumblr.

0.5 (I told you that I wasn't following the rules)..... I am a huge nerd and love all things nerdy. Seriously. My dad was an aeronautical engineer, I grew up watching Star Trek and Star Wars, I find geek humor to be amazingly kick ass and I've even been known to speek a little 1337. :)

Okay, that's all for now. I hope I'm not a huge blogger fail cause this is so late, but I guess that's how I roll. ;)

Much Love for you h00rs,

Dirty and awkward....but not.

I'm really getting settled into my new job. I'm really building relationships with some of the residents and I enjoy spending time with many of them. I listen about their children, grand children, spouses that have passed, regrets, memories, and even discuss their meals with them. Nearly all of them are very happy to see me and some even greet me with a kiss on the hand. We've been sharing some quality time together.

There is this one man, for HIPPA and privacy reasons, I'll call him mister P. Mister P has been living in the retirement facility for a year or so. He hates it there. He blames his wife for the fact that he's there. He goes off all the time about how he's gonna divorce her as soon as he gets out of there. When I ask him why, he says, "because she put me in this fucking place!!" I think he forgets that she is really sick and can't take care of his post-stroke needs. Mister P is one of my favorite residents. He's one of the few smokers, but is limited to a certain amount of cigarettes per day. He is always calling to ask if he can have one yet, if it's "close enough" or if he can scoot the rules. He's retired military and loves to talk about my hubs, what he does, and how he's a "fly boy" cause he's in the Air Force. 

Yeah, something like that. ;)

Mister P. is a sweetie, but apparently, a pervert. Little did I know. Two nights ago, before I was leaving his room, I asked if there was anything else I could do before I left him for his night sleep. He said, "yeah bend over and let me spank your bottom." I started laughing, and told him that I don't think that's going to happen. Last night when I asked him the same question, he just made the spanking motion with is good hand. I started laughing again, shook my head, and tucked him in.

Ahhhh Mister P. frequently tells me that I'm pretty, but had never made a pervy move. I talked to some of the other girls and found out that he's actually grabbed their asses before. The funny part of it is, if it weren't totally against the rules and grounds for immediate termination, I just might have let him do it. He's all alone in a place he hates, he hates his wife.... it's like the least I could do, right? Plus, you know me.... I have a certain... soft spot for kinky folk. A man that has a penchant for spankings? I can't help but love him. :)

This was probably Mister P. and his wife
back in the day. Poor guy. 

From a girl who loves spankings, I found it all to be kind of funny. The more I think about it, the more weirded out I am that I'm NOT weirded out. I should feel kinda creeped out than an 80+ year old man made some moves? Right?

Yeah, I'm not, rock the fuck on Mister P.

...I just need to find a way to make sure his (appropriate) needs are met without asking him what else I can do for him!

I'm aliiiiiive! (An update)

Lately I've been kinda MIA. First because I was freakin sick as hell, then more recently because I started a new job!!

No, it's not what I went to school for five years for or what I owe over $150,000 for, but it's a JOB.

FML. 

I'm a caregiver at an assisted living facility for seniors. They have me working the evening shift, 8 hours. I haven't had a job since before college. The hardest adjustment that I'm making is getting used to working 8 hours a day, on my feet. In that sense, it's great experience for what's to come once I get an actual RN job. While I'm making virtually nothing and the work is extremely physically demanding, I am actually making a difference in senior's lives.

My first night I came home crying. I was disappointed and discouraged. Disappointed that I am not working as an RN, discouraged because of how tired I was and discouraged because I felt as if I was settling. But the circumstances of life are not allowing for much choice. I have a horrible habit of negative self-talk. I can turn anything into a negative, especially when it comes to myself or self worth. After a talk with the hubs and my mom venting these feelings, I realized that the fact that I have a job in itself is a great feat. I've been trying for months and months. Sure, it's not an RN job, but you know what, this job will be great on a resume. My new bosses love me and are wanting to short-track me through training so they can start to train me in a promoted position. All good things.

The coworker who has been training me is super sweet and lives right down the road. The day before Valentine's day, we shared a Twi-moment that made my freakin day. One of the residents gave us a Valentine's day candy gift and guess what it was?

Goddamn right I <3 EC!

My coworker squeed a bit and said "I LOVE TWILIGHT!" I'm not gonna lie, I was so freakin happy to hear that. I've begun to settle into my new job, but to know that one of my coworkers shares a passion such as Twlight, that's such a relief. When people ask my where I'll be in Sept/Oct, I'm sure as shit saying FOOOOOORKS MUTHA FUCKAS! ...or something of that nature.

So, all in all, things are going well. I'm just sleepy allllll the time. I hear this will pass and that I'll get used to it, we shall see. Shitty thing is, the hubs finally has weekends off, now I'm working them. I don't have set days off or a set schedule yet, but I'm not too worried.

......I just miss the shit out of you h00rs and my Twittah time with you all. Keeping up with blogs is a little more difficult, too. Know I love you ladies and I'm missing the shit out of you all! The thought of FOOOOOORKS keeps me going! It's looking like, because of this job, I'll be able to afford it. ;)

Twihearted

This from a dear friend:

My mother was a force of nature. She was unstoppable, or so we thought - doing everything at warp speed and with a seemingly endless supply of energy. Our family was absolutely devastated when she died of a heart attack just weeks after celebrating her 65th birthday. She is dearly missed, every day, by her daughters, her father-in-law, her grandchildren, and her husband of 45 years.

Heart disease runs in my family. After Mom passed, my father told us that she had actually said that she didn't think she would live to see 65. Her mother died of a stoke at the same age. Yet even in the face of this knowledge, she did not take steps to try to beat the odds. I believe that she could have potentially lived for many more years had she watched her diet and taken other small steps. She loved junk food, Coca-Cola, sweets, and salt. She ignored her doctor's warnings and when asked about her annual check-ups, she said she was fine. But she wasn't fine.

My sister and I both believe that Mom knew something was going on with her health in the weeks before her death, and that she didn't do anything about it. Maybe she was waiting for Medicare to kick in; maybe she was afraid to find out; maybe she just felt helpless against what she considered inevitable. We'll never know. I wish she had told us. I wish she had said something. I wish she had taken herself to the doctor, or to the emergency room, before it was too late.

I spent a long time reading other pages here on the AHA site, and was heartbroken to find many stories similar to this one. I hope that during American Heart Month, awareness is raised. I hope that people take advantage of the opportunity - while they still have it - to take better care of themselves and help their loved ones to do the same, even if it requires some effort. I'm personally going to make a renewed effort to improve my health, and I hope that some of you will do the same after reading this. And if you suspect - even a little bit - that you may be experiencing heart-disease-related symptoms, SPEAK UP. You'll be glad you did, and your loved ones will be, too.

I am lucky to have an amazing online family who provided much needed moral support when I needed it, and we've set up this page so that people can donate to the American Heart Association during the month of February. I hope that some of you - even one person - take away from this a commitment to making a change in their lifestyle and taking charge of their health.

With much love,

Debbie/STY

To learn more about what Heart Disease is, go here.....

Today, over 70 million Americans have some form of cardiovascular disease. We suffer as individuals, as families and as a nation from these devastating illnesses, which will claim nearly 930,000 lives this year alone.

To donate:

CLICK HERE!!

Or go to the top of this page, click on the heart icon "Twihearted" and give what you can. Even $1 means more than you can imagine. I could not afford to donate much more. We in the Twitarded community are dedicated to helping raise money for American Heart Association. Heart Disease, the number one killer of women, can be prevented. Educate yourself and your loved ones and help spread the word.

To all my fellow Twitards, especially Snarky/Deb, I love you!

The mystery of Bella (the dog) has been solved!

When we first adopted Bella, she was described as a "terrier mix". In fact, this was the add:

"Spayed 25 pound terrier mix, around 1 years old. House trained, crate trained. Sleeps on her blanket in the bedroom at night. Stays in the house during the day, or hanging around outside with you! Loves children, very patient with them! Great with people. Great with indoor cats. Likes to chase birds. Likes to play in water. Travels great! Generally calm but is in everyone's business! She has great self-esteem and doesn't hold grudges! Thinks she's a lap dog and loves to sleep in boxes!" 

We took the description for what it's worth. But as we got to know and love her, we found that she just didn't have the temperament of terrier--fiesty, incredibly energetic, etc. She's relatively calm, super affectionate and pretty quiet. She rarely barks...she is not a "yappy" dog by any means.

Our little Bells

Recently, while we've been walking her, we've had numerous people ask, "is she a Basenji?" We then just explain that she's a rescue, and we have no idea. So, I got curious and googled Basenji, and holy smokes!

Basenji:

Bella:

Runnin!

Jumpin!

Lookin' like a Basenji mix!

I think we see a resemblance! So, now when people ask what she is, we say that we are pretty sure that she is a Basenji mix! Those of you that have met her may see the resemblance more in person than in these photos, but it's there. :)

And P.S. Yes, on his right arm, that's one of the hub's hot-ass tatts..... ;)

People always ask if the girl is me...our lips
are sealed! ;)

Love you h00rs,