Monday, January 31, 2011

I'm cheating on Twilight.

It's true. It's utterly true. It's a great story, the actors are amazingly good looking and the porn softcore (which verge on hardcore) takes my breath away. The feelings aroused while watching this show rival some of the fanfic lemons that I've read recently. Perhaps that's because I'm more of a visual person, but none the less. Hot. Fucking. Damn.

What is this epicness that I speak of?

Available on Netflix and On Demand, RENT IT!
....or buy it.
Why oh why you ask? What could possibly having me claim to cheat on my beloved Edward? This man. Spartacus.

Y'all know I have a thing for eyebrows. This
man's eyebrows are perfect. 

I'm no movie critic. I have no eloquent way of persuading you to see this series. So instead, let me speak with a few pictures and a quote from good ol Wikipedia:

Spartacus: Blood and Sand is a Starz television series that premiered on January 22, 2010. The series focuses on the historical figure of Spartacus (played by Andy Whitfield), a Thracian gladiator who from 73 to 71 BC led a major slave uprising against the Roman Republic. Executive producers Steven S. DeKnight and Robert Tapert focused on structuring the events of Spartacus's obscure early life leading up to the beginning of historical records.[2] The show has been rated TV-MA for graphic violence, strong sexual content, and coarse language.

UNF. Freakin UNF.
 The sex scenes in this show are graphic and very realistic. It's very, very lemony.

Meet mister Crixis. HOTTIE. 

Chick on Chick? Yes please.

Yes, that is a dude fighting with the skin of another man's
face as a mask.
Have I mentioned it's violent? It's very reminiscent of Frank Miller's 300 in the sense that there is a lot of post-production blood and background music not of it's era, but the storyline stands on it's own. At first the hubs and I were not sure we were gonna like it. We flew through the season in less than a week. We fell in love with the characters and were left wanting more when it ended. 

The shitty thing? Super-hottie Andy Whitfield who plays Spartacus came down with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma right before the taping of the second season. They waited a bit, he went into remission, they started filming again, the cancer returned. So sadly, they were faced with  replacing him. Apparently they have one in mind, but I am not sure if they have started taping season two of Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

Instead, what they did, is the created a prequel series with six episodes that is now showing on Starz (and Netflix on Demand and regular On Demand) called Sparticus: Gods of the Arena. Now, with this being said, my advice would be to watch Gods of the Arena before Blood and Sand. Obviously it's nice to watch the prequels before the show. 

But fear not, the prequel thus far has been very entertaining and has offered tons of lemony goodness. Not to mention a new leading man who is not so hard on the eyes.

Yeah, Hottie McHotterton. It's cool finding out where all the characters came from before Blood and Sand.

I forgot to mention one thing. Freakin Zena the Warrior Princess is in it!

Yes, you get to see her banging-ass hot body naked, too.
Edward, I love you. You will always be my number one, but right now, at this point in are running a tough race...and falling behind. We better get some good shit out of that god-forsaken PG-13 rating in Breaking Dawn. More like Breaking Headboards.. har har har...... *crickets* 

So I leave you with a few words of advice:

1. Watch Spartacus: Gods of the Arena
2. Then, watch Spartacus: Blood and Sand
3. Dare to disagree with me. :)

p.s. Yesssss... I'm not a total blogger fail, I got one in this month!

Much love, h00rs! Enjoy. And I do mean, Enjoy. 

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The world's worst picture of me. Ever.

No, it can't get any worse. 
*Courtesy of @norcaltwitard. Thanks, h00r.