Tuesday, July 19, 2011

My 25 Things, Inspired by @SnarkierThanYou

First off, let me say how much I've loved reading everybody's 25 random facts. I find people's quirks and random facts so interesting. It's a fun way of learning things about people that sometimes you'd never know.

Secondly, sorry it took me so long to get this out. Hope you learn a little something...

Now here's the thing, I am actually worried that I will not have 25 things to share cause I feel like I so frequently have diarrhea of the mouth. I mean really, I've shared some of the most intimate parts of myself in not-so eloquent ways...if you know what I mean. And my past has not been all rainbows and butterflies. But alas, here goes my thesis:

1. I am not a dancer. I mean I CANNOT dance. However, get enough alcohol in me and good luck pulling me off that floor. It's really quite amazing how the ratio of alcohol to the ratio of dancing is spot on.

Okay, here's the worst part of #1. Sometimes I get a little too much gusto in me and actually attempt lap dances. Naturally, because I'm not that smooth, something usually goes wrong. Like this last time at my sisters birthday party (parents and parent's friends abound), my "super sexy hair whip" blinded my husband and ruined the whole thing. Check out this priceless photo:

laughing at my epic fail
2. I graduated with honors from Nursing school, am a member of an elite Nursing Honors Society, and still don't have a nursing job, *sigh*.

3. My current marriage is not my first. I did the whole "run away to Hawaii at 19 and marry an Army boy who I knew for four months who deployed for a year two months later".... then get divorced 2 years later thing. It was one of the most difficult times of my life, but I'm one of those "everything shitty that happens is a lesson" type of people. I would NEVER be where I am now without that experience.

4. I, too, had a horse when I was younger. She was named Little Bit because she was so small. She had a small bit, you know, the part of the reigns that fits in the mouth? She was inches away from being considered a pony. We had to get rid of her because of number five.

awww, reminds me of Little Bit
5. I started playing soccer when I was four. I started playing competitively when I was 10, by the time I was a freshman in High School, I was a starter on the Varsity Team at only 13. At 13 I defended a Senior who would later that next year join the Women's National Team. She didn't score on me. ;) I ended up dropping the sport my junior year before the college recruiters started hounding me. My entire life had become soccer. I started dreading practice (which was every day) and hating playing the game. I had 4-6 concussions in about 2 years, and I started playing recklessly hoping to break a bone so that way I wouldn't have to actually tell my parents/teammates that I wanted to stop playing. It was who I was, I didn't have an identity outside of it, friends out side of it or a passion for anything else to take it's place. See number seven.

6.  I converted to the LDS (Mormon) Church when I was 15. I was dating a boy in high school for 3.5 years, he was Mormon and I started to go to church with him. I was raised without any religion and took to it very well. We broke up, then I got baptized. I was very active in it for three years before I started dating a guy who wasn't in the church. I didn't know how to say "no" back then, and did sexual things with him that I really didn't want to and ended up regretting and feeling super ashamed of. That eventually lead to a guilt so overwhelming that I left the church. Upon leaving the church,...

7. I started dating a 41 year old and picked up a baaad smoking habit. I got up to 1.5 packs per day when I quit. Back then, in Hawaii, you could smoke in bars. I could put down 1.5 packs in a NIGHT. I would wake up the next morning feeling like utter SHIT and started coughing up brown phlegm. As sad as it sounds, I always viewed it as passive aggressive suicide. I considered myself to be too much of a pussy to slit my wrists, so I figured I'd just make my life shorter. I've been a non-smoker for about 5 years now, and now only smoke cigars. I don't inhale, I swear. I love hookahs and hookah bars, though. And yes, I inhale those. ;)

Not me. Or anybody I know. But hookah and
slippers FTMFW.
8. This is probably not news to anybody here, but as my husband says, my "cup runeth over"... meaning I have no verbal filter. I can usually fake it pretty well, around in-laws/ work folk, but that's keeping a conscious filter at all times. When I am drinking or when the filter is down, I say some fucked up shit to people. Like the other day, I was drinking with friends and started describing how my husband is never content with one sexual position during sex. It's always 2-5. The hubs kinda looked at me like WTF? Where did that come from? It just popped in my head. I just said it. It's as simple as that!

9. I was the last to develop in my class, and weighed 105 lbs graduating high school. I'm damn near 5'7''. I got called every name in the book as a kid. I've had actual interventions from people thinking I was anorexic because I was so tiny. My high school nick name was "stick"... given to me by my soccer coach. I hated girls who would complain about their period cramps or their boobs being sore cause I was so massively jealous. Looking back, I didn't have the body fat to start my period. I was put on hormones because when I did have my first period (at 16.5), it lasted for 14 days and soaked through 2 pads per hour. Yeah. Miserable. I've been on the pill damn near ever since. Once I stopped playing soccer competitively, I got tits and my hips widened practically over night.

10. I've told nearly all of you that I'm a lacto-vegetarian (bordering on vegan) but what you don't know, is that we have the WORST farts ever. Oh my gawd, I'm talking raunchy. Broccoli, one of my favorite veggies, hates my bowels. Pray they don't have broccoli in forks, @norcaltwitard, @amandakmelby, @jaymes805...cause you'll be hating life in that room!

11. I met my husband on Myspace. LMAO! I'm not even kidding. He sent me a message saying "Hi. :)" I looked at his profile pic and saw this:

fucking jawgasm

This was the kicker
So I emailed him back the same thing. "Hi. :)" and the rest is history. We started emailing on Myspace, then chatting on YIM, then web-camming and texting, then we had our first date. He was so shy he couldn't look me in the face. When you'll meet him, you'll see how UNshy he is. He said he just knew I was "different right away." Ugh, melting! (yes, I actually just went on Myspace to get those pics. lol!)

12. I was born and raised in the Bay Area, now moving back after being in Hawaii for so long, people ask me where I'm from. Psssshaw! I'm a NorCal girl at heart. :) It's okay, I love my SoCal girls. Because they are so unlike the stereotypical SoCal girls. :)

lol love it!

13. My mom is one of my best friends, but if she ever saw this blog she'd freak. I share about 95% of myself with my mother, which is actually a hell of a lot. She even went to FOOOOORKS with me last year and we had a freakin awesome time! I love my mommy so much.

14. There are three things that genetics has the potential of fucking me over with. Panic Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder and Colon Cancer. On both my maternal and paternal side. I have two thus far. When I turn thirty I'll be getting the ol scope up the pooper (technical term) to make damn sure that I don't get all three.

15. I value most animal lives over human's lives. Sounds so sick considering my chosen profession and all, but I'll be damned, it's the truth. I don't think that 75% of people deserve the air they breathe. But I'll do my best to assure they still get it. Who am I to judge? I try to stay as nonjudgmental as I can because I can't stand people who judge others, I just tend to dislike ignorant people.

Biocentrism (Greek: βίος, bio, "life"; and κέντρον, kentron, "center"), in a political and ecological sense, is an ethical point of view which extends inherent value to non-human species,[1]ecosystems, and processes in nature - regardless of their sentience.[2] It stands in contrast to anthropocentrism which centers on the value of humans

That's me. AKA Hippie? lol Courtesy of good ol Wikipedia.

16. You probably wouldn't guess, but I'm a bit of a Metal Head. Check out my most recent post here. Most of my iPhone contains music that would make most people around the world cringe. The harder the better. I can't stand what society calls "alternative" now days. I'd love it if Hinder, Nickelback and Post-"My Own Prison" Creed would go on a world tour, share a plane, and shared a fiery death just so I would never have to hear one of their songs ever again. No offense, ladies, if you care. :)

17. Now here comes a big secret. I'm a HUGE Britney Spears fan. Fucking love her new stuff. I mean Crazy era and after that. The stuff that's more club/techno than pop. "Gimme More" and "3" are my freakin jams. I have the "Best of" and I quite frequently bump the shit out of it. I mean that literally. I have two 10'' subs in my trunk. ;) My car used to be the hubs car. He had it pretty tricked out. When he got his dream truck, I negotiated the system. Schweeeeet!

18. I've recently lost 20 lbs. Yeah, it's work's fault. I had to buy all new pants/shorts/skirts. I'm a huge cheap ass, so this was seriously a big deal. I still wear clothes from middle school. Hey, dont' judge. The old shirts are always the most comfortable! :)

19. I get severe road rage. Specifically towards those that don't use their blinkers. I literally have been known to yell, "USE YOUR FUCKING BLINKER YOU GODDAMN DUMBASS!" I am a horn honker and a finger flipper. And a mean-mugger. It's horribly embarrassing and it's in a very tourette-like manner. It makes my blood boil and I hate it! I wish I had more self control.

20. My husband officially fucking broke our bed... fucking. He literally pulled one of these:

Except with the footboard. He tore it apart!!!

That is a Vietnam-era ammunition can holding
our bed up. You can see where the hubs
tried to fix it with screws. FML.
 So now our extracurriculars have had to be either elsewhere or super, ahem, careful.

21. I love shitty TV. Jersey Shore, Bad Girls Club, The Real Housewives of New Jersey... The shittier the better! I don't know why I love them so much. Probably because I keep the drama in my life to a very, very minimum. I find the trashy drama so freakin entertaining! I can laugh at them, not cause I'm in the shitty situation myself. Ah, I love it! Oh yeah, I'm also the biggest Survivor fan! I watch every season. On a similar note, I'm a huge premium channel watcher. I love movies and I spend way too much of my spare time watching movies on TV.

22. I recently decided I wanted a snake. I went to the pet store to investigate the possibilities of raising a vegetarian snake and the woman looked at me like I wanted to skin it alive and ritualistically burn it. "Why on EARTH would you want to change it's nature?! NO, don't get a snake."..... I mean I totally see her point, but day-am! I just can't see something eaten alive. Even the pinkies that are frozen are just too much for me!

23. When I'm bored and sad, I go to the pet stores and pet puppies and look at kitties and other little animals. If it were up to me I'd have a million acres and I'd save all the homeless and helpless little animals. I will be "that" cat lady when I am older. The hubs even expects it. :) He says he'll prevent it, but I'd like to see him try. Muahahaha!

24. I've been dabbling with the idea of having a guest blogger here, you know who you are, bb, I just have to figure out how the hell to do it!

25. I've spilled enough guts. I hope you are all sated.

Love you all!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

OMG. Me in a nutshell. Watch and learn.

Obligatory cute animals + metal = mother fucking win.

I saw them in concert. They rocked my socks off.

There is no more that needs to be said. 

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My pseudo Twilight tattoo...

It's not a freakin shitty rendition of Edward like some of you other bloggy buddies have posted, but it was inspired by a certain Twilight actress....

A prize for the person who knows who this is... okay,
not really, but seriously.... know who it is?*

I've been wanting to get my husband's name on my ring finger for a really long time. Not on top like Pam Anderson's Tommy tattoo or anything like this,

But something that will be there forever, letting him know that I'm forever his... in more ways than one. Originally I wanted to add an apostrophe "S" but decided my mother would disown me. So instead I went for this:



There's more....

I've wanted a white ink tattoo for the longest time, and I've wanted it to say "Family" and be in this particular location for a very, very long time. I just finally had the balls.

Holy shit, what a night! :)

*Nikki Reed