Friday, February 17, 2012

And now for something a little dirty and nerdy...and more than a little weird

I'd like to start this post by saying...we aren't dead or dying! Well...I'm not anyway and I'm 99.9% sure that All Twied Up isn't either, I'm positive if she was I would have felt a disturbance in the force or gotten a text, er something... I hope.

Now that that's out of the way, I can move on to what this post is actually about. I was searching for a new toy, and not the kind you get for your spawn, I mean lovely children, but the kind you get for, um... personal fulfillment. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. And while I completely expected to come across a wide variety of vibrators, dildos, plugs and personal massagers of different shapes and sizes, I never in a gazillion years expected to see something like this...

That's right... it's a "Pocket Rocket" and I'd like to add what-in-the-actual-fuck?!? Who came up with this...Paedo's-R-Us?

Now, I know we all call them sex toys, but seriously people, do we really want them to resemble something made by Mattel??? Now, I like space aged fantasy as much as the next nerdy kinkster but this seems to be taking it a little far. I suppose the upside to having your favorite vibe look like something a preschooler would play with is that when your kid finds it and decides to show it to your in-laws you can claim that it's actually a surprise for the kid and not an adolescent-to-a-scary-degree looking sex toy. But still!!!

Am I totally off my rocker thinking this is just down right weird or what? Chime in below, I won't judge...ok...maybe a little. ;)

Sunday, February 5, 2012

It's someone's "Dirty Thirty"...not mentioning names..

Okay, I lied. Today is miss @Jaymes805's thirtieth! (And holy shit, I'm alive!)

Yes, that amazing lady on the left, along with myself and @amandakmelby
Doesn't look a day over thirty, does she? Heheh kidding, love.

I've had the pleasure of knowing miss Jaymes for over a year and a half. Both her and her amazing bestie/sister from another mister/twin-ish have become people who I've grown to know and love as some of the most genuine people in my life. Jaymes, your sense of humor is so unique and amazing that there is never a dull moment with you. You are caring, loving and have an unhealthy obsession with JRath, and I love you for all of those reasons.

We went to Forks with Twitarded back in 2010 and never even met eachother officially. It wasn't until the Eclipse DVD release party that I had at my house that we'd met face to face after developing a true bond over twitter and the internet. Yes people, it happens. :) Weird, right? ;) Having you so close yet so far is such a curse and a blessing. If I had my way, we'd be hanging out all the time. But alas, such is not the case. I was so happy to be able to spend as much time with you as I did during Forks 2011!

There are so many things that remind me of you... Thanksgiving, Superbowl Sunday, JRath, 100 Monkeys, FOOORKS 2011 and our epic time, Almond Champagne, our Twilight-themed animal names.. but when I get serious for a minute, you are exactly what every girl should have in a friend. You are open, loving, a complete blast to hang out with, and I am so happy that I get to call you my friend.

And I can't wait to freakin see you again. It needs to be sooner rather than later, h00r.

I love you.

Much love,