Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Not so dirty, not so hot...well, at least I got the nerdy part right.

*walks timidly toward the microphone and taps it softly* Is this thing on? Okay, so you are all probably wondering what I’m doing here, and to be perfectly honest, so am I. I guess I should back up. In case you haven’t already figured it out, I am not the normal voice of ‘Dirty, Hot and Nerdy’. Hi *waves*, I’m norcaltwitard and I’m an alco…wait, wrong intro. Some of you probably know me from twitter and the occasional comment on Twitarded and the rest of you are probably thinking “Who??”

Long story short… I got the flu really bad, like can’t sit up or move bad, about a year and a half ago and my mom was kind enough to buy me a book. That book was New Moon (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, just stop reading now and go away. Kthxbai.) and I was hooked. A few short months and several readings of the Twilight books later I stumbled across an MTV article about odd Twilight related merchandise that led me to Twitarded. After reading the Pattinson Panties post and nearly pissing myself from laughing harder than I had in literally years I became a devoted stalker, I mean blog follower. Over the next few months I discovered fanfiction, nurtured my ridiculous obsession with all things RPattz and I made the pilgrimage to Forks to meet the holy twifecta and the rest of the Twitarded h00rs I had come to know and love. And that is where I first met All Twied Up. We kareokeed…it was awesome. Since Forks, All Twied Up has become my bestest bestie and I have a feeling if we didn’t live two hours apart, we would be pretty much inseparable. I even told Mr. All Twied Up that All Twied Up was mine now and he can’t have her back, and yes, copious amounts of wine contributed to that statement, but it didn’t make it any less true.

I know you’re all wondering, “What does that have to do with why I am invading her blog today?” Well, it’s because over the last several months, along with her constant badgering about how much I “need” to join facebook (which I am still NOT doing, btw), All Twied Up has been pushing me to start a blog. And since she is an unyielding, pushy, dominatrix-type force, and I fluv her more than almost anyone she finally wore me down…sortof. Instead of starting my own blog, because I have no idea what I would fill it with or why anyone would read it, I told her I was going to hijack hers. This was followed by a desperate tweet to her that said I can’t hijack her blog because I am, in fact, not a hacker. Anyway, that is the short version of why I'm here today.

I really have no fucking clue why All Twied Up thinks I should write a blog, much less contribute to hers because I am not “dirty” or “hot” by any stretch of the imagination. All Twied Up refers to me as her ‘vanilla’ friend. That is a drastic overstatement… vanilla has way too much spice to be in anyway related to my sex life.

This glass of tepid water is a better representation of my sex life. Except that the water actually sex life, not so much.

The good news (shutup it is good news): I am very nerdy!

Intelligence…check. Socially Inept…check. Obsession…triple check.

I find extreme pleasure in a ridiculous number of dorky things, including but not limited to Star Trek, Star Wars, Monty Python, Achmed the Dead Terrorist and movies based on cartoons from the 80’s.

I own 2 pairs of jeans and wear $5 t-shirts because I’m too cheap for anything else and I bought a $13 spatula because it looks like Darth Vader. I really do need help.

I also have an unhealthy obsession with all things Twilight and/or RPattz related (this is not new to those of you who know me) and I know way too much about Great White sharks for a person who is not a Marine Biologist or that dead Crocodile Hunter guy.

Crikey…I love these sharks! Isn't he cute! Did you know they are actually warm blooded and give birth to live young?!?! So cool!

Sooooo, here I am in all my nerdy twilight/Rob obsessed glory writing my very first ever totally pointless blog post. Go easy on me… or don’t ‘cause I might enjoy the abuse. Hmmm, maybe I’m not so ‘vanilla’ after all ;)


  1. Awesome. Can't wait to read more of your nerdy posts. This is very exciting.

  2. WOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HO! I mean "Hoo" I'm so excited!!!! Loved the post and so glad to see you blogging. Can't wait to read more and also can't wait to seeee you soon!

  3. Well if you had facebook, you'd have seen my last status update, which said something along the lines of "Why I get such a thrill out of watching Great White's on Shark Week is beyond me...but I can never get enough." I have been fascinated with Great White Sharks since as far back as I can remember. I used to watch Jacque Cousteau (sp?) specials on TV at 7 years old. I know more about them than is natural for a non-marine biologist as well. Anyhoo, you should hijack her blog more often! It was fun learning more about you!

    xo J

  4. this made me stupid happy! i loved your post bb come back again! i can't wait to see you and your boobies in forks *i'm a perv*....oh wait there's no need to announce it if i'm reading this blog ;-) xoxo

  5. I'm happy as a clam in a shit storm! I'm as happy as a puppy with two peters! I'm as happy as a.... that's all I've got. Point is, YOU FINALLY FUCKING DID IT! Thanks so much, bb! Please come back and hijack anytime! Love you *mwah*!

  6. Congrats on your fist blog post! Look forward to more from you girls!

  7. I forgot to mention how much I FLOVE that venn diagram!!

  8. I started out as a guest blogger once upon a time and now I'm almost ready to start my own blog... not quite but almost. I think one thing all of us bloggers have in common is that we're nerdy, and who better to share our nerdyness with than with each other. I hope you come along and hijack more often so I can get to know you better, because I'm a great stalker errrr I mean I think we can be great friends ;)

  9. YAY! So glad you've teamed up & will be contributing here! Sharing a blog with a bestie (or a few besties) is the only way to go! Makes it so much more fun.


  10. The more nerds the better :) welcome aboard!

  11. Thanks to all for the kind words & encouragement! It makes me feel all warm & fluffy. I may or may not already have an idea for my next post. :)

    Alltwiedup...if there was ever a question about your nerd status there isnt one now. The fact that you know thats a venn diagram & how to spell it is undeniable proof. Oh and I flove you too!

  12. LOVED it!!!

    I cannot wait to see more. :)

  13. Awww. I'm excited you're here in blog-land! Welcome :-)

  14. Yay! Wish I was techno-savy enough to blog.